`take my HAND* NEVER let go-

终于做了这个决定
别人怎么说我不理
只要你也一样的肯定
我愿意天涯海角都随你去
我知道一切不容易

我的心一直温习说服自己
最怕你忽然说要放弃

爱真的需要勇气
来面对流言蜚语
只要你一个眼神肯定
我的爱就有意义

爱真的需要勇气
去相信会在一起
人潮拥挤我能感觉你
放在我手心里

你的真心

take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

HEY EVERYONE....

I THINK MY LIFE SO FAR HAS BEEN A MESS.... I ASKED SY TODAY WHAT SHE THINKS HER LIFE WILL BE IN 40 YEARS TO COME. OR RATHER, I ASKED HER, "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WILL THINK WHEN YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF ONE MORNING AFTER YOU WAKE UP 40 YEARS DOWN THE ROAD?"

WILL YOU BE HORRIFIED AT WHAT YOU SEE?
WILL BE SATISFIED WITH WHAT YOU SEE?
WILL YOU BE FILLED WITH REGRET, AND QUESTION WHAT YOU HAVE DONE WITH THE PAST 5O YEARS OF YOUR LIFE?
OR WILL YOU SEE YOURSELF AS THE HAPPIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD, WHO COULDN'T ASK FOR MORE?

SO LET ME JUST ASK ALL OF YOU WHO ARE READING THIS THE SAME QUESTION: WHAT DO YOU THINK, OR WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO SEE, WHEN YOU FINALLY REACH THAT AGE?

I TOLD SOMEONE IN SECONDARY TWO THAT MY GREATEST FEAR IN LIFE IS NOT OF DEATH OR DYING, BUT THAT MY GREATEST FEAR IS THAT I WILL LOOK INTO THE MIRROR WHEN I AM 40 YEARS OLD AND REGRET WHAT I HAVE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE. I DON'T WANT TO LOOK BACK ON MY LIFE AND FIND THAT THERE COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH MORE THAN JUST WHAT I HAVE NOW. I DON'T WANT TO LOOK BACK AND FEEL SORRY FOR ALL THE WRONG THINGS THAT I DID, OR FOR THE RIGHT THINGS THAT I DIDN'T DO.

MAYBE YOU GUYS WILL THINK THAT I AM THINKING TOO MUCH, BUT IT IS NOT. I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS SINCE SECONDARY TWO AND I FIRST STARTED THINKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE I FELT THAT I WAS SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME IN A SCHOOL WHERE MARKS WERE (ALMOST) EVERYTHING AND I COULDN'T TELL WHO WAS A REAL FRIEND AND WHO WAS NOT. EVERYONE SEEMED SO COMPETITIVE I COULDN'T REALLY CONFIDE IN ANYONE. SO I JUST STARTED THINKING, MAYBE WHEN I AM OLDER, I WILL REGRET THAT I HAVE SPENT THE YOUTH OF MY LIFE SO MEANINGLESSLY IN THIS INSTITUTION, PRETENDING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE'S FRIEND WHILE TRYING TO OUTSMART EACH OTHER AT THE SAME TIME.

I LEARNT FROM MY FATHER: TRUST NO ONE. AND I NEVER REALLY BELIEVED HIM UNTIL I REALLY GOT HURT BY THE PEOPLE WHOM I HAD LEAST EXPECTED TO HAVE ANY INFLUENCE ON ME.

IT TURNS OUT THAT HOW YOU'RE TREATED WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG, REALLY SHAPES THE CHARACTER THAT YOU WILL GROW INTO. SOME PEOPLE MAY CALL ME DELIBERATIVE, AND OTHERS MAY CALL ME SIMPLY ANTI-SOCIAL. AND I ADMIT IT, BECAUSE I AM AWARE OF MY OWN ACTIONS AND MY OWN THOUGHTS.

SOMETIMES I BLAME IT ON MY FAMILY, AS I HAD NEVER BEEN AS CLOSE TO THEM AS SOME OF MY OTHER PEERS ARE TO THEIR FAMILIES. MAYBE IT WAS ALL THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME WHILE I WAS IN SCHOOL.... I HAVE NO IDEA....

NO MATTER WHAT THE CAUSE, I PERSONALLY THINK THAT I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON TO SOCIALISE WITH AND I ADMIT IT, BECAUSE IF I WERE YOU, I WOULDN'T WANT TO BEFRIEND ME EITHER. AT LEAST, NOT SUPER CLOSE FRIENDS LA.

THEREFORE, I AM NOW RESOLVED TO MOVE INTO JC WITH A PRECONCEIVED NOTION OF ME, WHETHER GOOD OR BAD.

ALL I ASK IS FOR YOU PEOPLE TO LOOK BACK ON YOUR LIFE (THUS FAR) AND ASK YOURSELF, DO YOU REGRET ANYTHING?

I HOPE YOU ALL DON'T, BECAUSE A REGRET WILL STAY FOR A LIFETIME..

AND JUST REMEMBER TWO VERY WISE PHRASES WORTH THEIR WEIGHT IN GOLD:

--> NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, JUST BE YOURSELF.
--> A LIFE LIVED IN FEAR, IS A LIVE HALF LIVED.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
to infinity and beyond!

hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*

take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*

Sunday, September 17, 2006

DEAR EVERYONE,

I WAS JUST TALKING TO DAJIE OVER MSN AND WE WERE TALKING ABOUT MOMENTS OF GRACE, AND CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD, AND ALL THOSE OTHER MOTIVATIONAL SELF-HELP BOOKS THAT WE'VE ALL BEEN EXPOSED TO BY NONE OTHER THAN THE NOTORIOUS CRAP GUY! *WHOO HOO!*

SO I'VE BEEN THINKING, AND TRYING TO RECALL ALL THOSE LITTLE MOMENTS OF GRACE THAT I HAVE ENCOUNTERED....

EVER SINCE I CAME BACK FROM BEIJING AND READING THE MOG I'VE BECOME SLIGHTLY MORE AWARE OF ALL THE LITTLE MIRACLES AND LITTLE THINGS THAT I'VE BEEN EXPERIENCING.

NOW, I KNOW THAT SOME OF YOU MAY FIND THIS HARD TO BELIEVE, BUT I DO BELIEVE THAT WE ALL HAVE EXPERIENCED MIRACLES, BECAUSE NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING OCCURS BY COINCIDENCE.

TAKE THIS EXAMPLE, I HAD JUST FINISHED MY MATHEMATICS EOY, AND I WAS ABOUT TO GO HOME, AND THE 105 BUS CAME ALONG RIGHT, BUT SUDDENLY I FELT VERY HUNGRY AND I HAD THIS URGE TO EAT SOMETHING, LIKE STRAIGHTAWAY!

SO I GOT OFF AT THE NEXT STOP AND ATE LIKE, A DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER FROM MCDONALDS. I WAS REALLY FULL, AND THEN I HAPPILY WENT HOME.

WHEN I FINALLY GOT HOME, GUESS WHAT? MY MOM AND MY BROTHER WERE BOTH OUT! AND WHEN I CALLED THEM, I FOUND OUT THAT THEY WOULD BE OUT PAST LUNCHTIME AND WON'T BE BACK UNTIL IN THE LATE AFTERNOON! AND SO THAT MEANS THERE WILL BE NO LUNCH PREPARED AT HOME THAT DAY!

WHEN I FOUND OUT I WAS LIKE... OH MY GOODNESS, LUCKY I ATE THAT BURGER OR I WOULD HAVE TO COOK MYSELF, WHICH WOULD ACTUALLY BE RATHER DISASTROUS.

BUT WHEN I THOUGHT ABOUT IT AGAIN, I WAS LIKE... "HEY, ACTUALLY, I WOULD HAVE HAD TO COOK MYSELF (YIKES) IF I DIDN'T HAVE THIS SUDDEN IMPULSE TO HOP OFF THE BUS AND GRAB A BURGER!"

OK, OK, SO SOME PEOPLE WILL SAY THAT THIS WAS ALL A COINCIDENCE, AND THAT IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY SPIRITUAL BEING OR ANYTHING. BUT NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY, I'M STILL VERY GRATEFUL. TO WHOM, I KNOW NOT, BUT TO ME, IT WAS A MIRACLE.

SOME SKEPTICS MIGHT BE RATHER, WELL, SKEPTICAL ABOUT IT, BUT NO MATTER WHAT YOU GUYS THINK, I STILL BELIEVE IT.

I WAS TELLING DAJIE ABOUT MY PROBLEMS AND MY DEEPEST THOUGHTS, THINGS THAT I HAVE NEVER REALLY TOLD ANYONE ELSE BEFORE. SHE LISTENED WITH GREAT SYMPATHY AND SPOKE REALLY WISELY TO CALM ME DOWN. BUT BEING ME, I CAN'T HELP BUT BE SUSPICIOUS AGAIN, AS USUAL... I DON'T KNOW HER WELL ENOUGH TO TELL IF SHE'S COMFORTING ME BECAUSE SHE REALLY CARES, OR BECAUSE SHE FEELS THAT IT IS HER OBLIGATION TO DO SO, SINCE I BROKE DOWN IN FRONT OF HER.

YES, THAT'S ME... THE MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY AND SPIRITUALLY WRECKED BEING THAT IS DESPISED BY PRACTICALLY EVERYONE SHE MEETS. I DESPISE THE WAY MY MIND THINKS, BUT I CANNOT CONTROL IT. I DESPISE THE WAY MY MIND DELIBERATES OVER ISSUES AND MAKES THEM SO COMPLICATED WHEN SOME THINGS CAN ACTUALLY BE SO NORMAL. I DESPISE THE WAY I SUSPECT EVERYONE AND THEIR INTENTIONS, SO MUCH SO THAT I FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE EVERYTHING THEY SAY, EVEN IF IT IS MY CLOSEST FRIEND.

I CAN'T HELP BUT THINK THAT THERE ARE ALWAYS A GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO ARE OUT TO GET ME, BE IT IN MY CLASS, MY CCA, MY HOUSE OR JUST MY GENERAL ACQUAINTANCE. IF WHAT IT TAKES TO BE ACCEPTED AMONGST MY PEERS IS TO PRETEND THAT I AM INTERESTED IN SOMETHING WHICH I ACTUALLY AM NOT, OR THAT I HAVE TO PRETEND TO BEHAVE IN A CERTAIN WAY THAT WILL AROUSE THEIR INTEREST, THEN I AM TERRIBLY SORRY, YOU CAN JUST EXCLUDE ME FROM YOUR GANG.

TRUTH IS, I'M NOT A TERRIBLY SOCIABLE KIND OF PERSON. I DEFINITELY TRY TO BE, BY TRYING TO COMMUNICATE MORE WITH ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE USING SMALL TALK. BUT REAL FRIENDS ARE REALLY REALLY HARD TO FIND.

PEOPLE THINK I'M CLOSE TO CARROT, BUT IF YOU LOOK CLOSER, HOW CLOSE ARE WE? HOW MUCH DO I ACTUALLY KNOW HER? HOW MUCH DOES SHE ACTUALLY KNOW ME? DO WE EVEN SPEND AS MUCH TIME TOGETHER AS WE DID BEFORE? WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THOSE TRIPS TO THE WASHROOM IN BETWEEN LESSONS?

AND MEL.... OH MEL... HOW MANY OF YOU ACTUALLY THINK WE'RE THE BESTEST OF BEST FRIENDS? EVEN THOUGH OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS STRENGTHENED (I HOPE) IN THESE PAST FEW MONTHS, I AM STILL NOT THE ONE SHE WILL FIRST TURN TO FOR HELP OR FOR A LISTENING EAR. SOMETIMES I FEEL AS IF I'M JUST A LAST RESORT, WHEN SHE CAN FIND NO ONE ELSE TO LISTEN TO HER MORE PERSONAL SORROWS, ONLY THEN WILL SHE TURN TO ME....

AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO KNOW YYQ, HE'S BEEN A GREAT FRIEND. A FRIEND IN NEED, IS A FRIEND INDEED AS THEY ALWAYS SAY, AND I AM REALLY THANKFUL FOR HIS HAVING COUNSELLED ME COUNTLESS TIMES WHENEVER I WAS FEELING DOWN. BUT IN ESSENCE, HE'S STILL A HE AND BECAUSE OF OUR DIFFERENT SCHOOLS NOW WE WERE NOT AS CLOSE AS WE WERE BEFORE, AND EVEN NOW I FIND MYSELF DOUBTING HIS WORDS. IS HE ONLY COUNSELLING ME BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN DOING SO SINCE P6, OR IS HE REALLY STILL MY FRIEND? I MEAN, ITS BEEN SO LONG, AND OLD FRIENDSHIPS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE STRENGTHENED WHILE NEW ONES ARE FORGED... BUT IN THIS CASE.. I AM VERY INCLINED TO BELIEVE THAT WHILE NEW FRIENDSHIPS ARE IN THE MAKING, THE OLD ONES WILL HAVE BEEN LOST AND BROKEN IN TIME.

ANYWAY... ALL I CAN HOPE FOR IS TO FIND SOMEONE, ANYONE, WHOM I CAN BELIEVE AND TRUST IN WHOLEHEARTEDLY WITHOUT A MOMENT'S DELIBERATION. I'M TIRED FROM SUSPECTING AND DELIBERATING PEOPLE ALL THE TIME, AND I'M TIRED OF ALWAYS BEING WARY OF WHAT PEOPLE SAY SO THAT I DON'T SUFFER THE SAME HURT I SUFFERED WHEN I WAS IN PRIMARY SCHOOL.

NOT EVERYONE WILL KNOW OR UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT, BUT ALL I HOPE IS THAT YOU WILL ALL UNDERSTAND IN TIME. AND IF YOU GUYS START THINKING THAT I'M SOME WEIRD PERSON WHOSE CHARACTER AND STATE OF MIND IS SO WARPED I CANNOT SOCIALISE PROPERLY, THEN BY ALL MEANS DO. I AM IN NO POSITION TO TELL YOU WHAT TO OR WHAT NOT TO THINK. ALL I CAN DO IS STAND HERE BEFORE YOU AND TELL YOU WHAT I THINK. YOU MAY DESPISE MY FRANKNESS AND MY LACK OF TACTFULNESS, BUT IF YOU DO NOT TAKE ME AS I AM, THEN I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO OFFER.

THE 1ST STEP TO OVERCOMING YOUR FEARS IS TO MASTER THE COURAGE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THEM

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

to infinity and beyond!

hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*

take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

TODAY IS A VERY NOT-SO-HAPPENING DAY.

BUT TODAY IS A VERY BUSY DAY, FOR ME.

FIRST, GOT SCHOOL UNTIL 11.30AM.

THEN GOT OPTIONS UNTIL 2.PM

THEN I HAVE BALLET FROM 4-6PM

THEN I HAVE REHEARSAL FROM 6.30-9.30PM.

WAH... V BUSY DAY FOR ME!

ANYWAY, I'M STILL MISSING MY BREAKFAST PARTY!!!!!! THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW ME PERSONALLY MIGHT NOT KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT... SO JUST BEAR WITH ME FOR A FEW SENTENCES.... I REALLY REALLY REALLY MISS THE BFP!!!!! BUT NEVERMIND! I GET TO SEE THEM NEXT YEAR! DURING CHINESE NEW YEAR! THEY'RE COMING BACK! WITH A HEARTY APPETITE!

OK..... ENOUGH OF MY CRAZY INFATUATION WITH THE BREAKFAST PARTY. LET'S TALK ABOUT SCHOOL! OPTIONS NOW ARE REALLY FUN, ALTHOUGH MY TIMETABLE IS NOT LIKE, THE BEST AROUND BUT ITS STILL PRETTY GOOD. OUT OF 5 DAYS I ONLY HAVE 2 DAYS THAT END AT 5 AND THE REST OF THE DAYS ALL END LATEST 2.30PM.

ANYWAY... I'M NOT GONNA BLOG MUCH TODAY, AND THE ONLY REASON WHY I CAME ON TO BLOG WAS JUST TO ADVERTISE THE PERFORMANCES THAT ARE WORTH WATCHING!

#1 RED GISELLE (BY THE EIFMAN BALLET THEATRE) (12-13 OCTOBER)
#2 TARI YOUTH THEATRE SHOWCASE AT THE ESPLANADE (21-22 OCTOBER)
#3 EVELYN'S PERFORMANCE THING.... (?????)
#4 MELISSA QUEK'S PERFORMANCE (14TH OCTOBER???)

WILL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE LAST TWO SO THAT YOU GUYS CAN ALSO GO AND HELP SUPPORT EVILS AND GHIAM GNG (MEL)!

---------------------------------------------------------------

to infinity and beyond!

hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*

take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*

Monday, September 11, 2006

Dear All,

TODAY IS 9/11, THE DAY THAT TERRORISED AMERICA 5 YEARS AGO. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED 5 YEARS AGO, BECAUSE I CAN STILL VISUALISE THE SCENE CLEARLY IN MY MIND.

ANYWAY, TODAY WAS NETBALL CARNIVAL AND THE FIRST DAY OF TERM 4, THE LAST AND FINAL FINAL FINAL SCHOOL TERM OF OUR SECONDARY SCHOOL LIFE! OF COURSE I'M KIND OF SAD, BECAUSE OF ALL THE FRIENDS THAT I'LL BE MISSING, BUT SOMEHOW I FEEL RELIEVED AT THE SAME TIME, BECAUSE I HAVE FINALLY COMPLETED THE JOURNEY THAT I HAVE ONCE THOUGHT TO BE IMPOSSIBLE TO COMPLETE.

TODAY WAS ALSO THE FIRST DAY THAT I GOT TO SEE MY CLASSMATES IN TWO WEEKS! OK, SO MAYBE TWO WEEKS IS NOT SUCH A LONG TIME, BUT A LOT CAN HAPPEN IN TWO WEEKS! I WAS REALLY ANXIOUS TO MEET MY FRIENDS AND CLASSMATES AGAIN BECAUSE I REALLY WANTED TO TELL THEM ALL ABOUT BEIJING, MY FRIENDS WHO ACCOMPANIED ME TO BEIJING AND ALL THE CRAPPY STORIES THAT MADE ME LAUGH WHEN I WAS IN CHINA. BUT STORIES ARE ONLY GOOD IF THEY ARE TOLD TO WORTHY AND WHOLEHEATRED LISTENERS, AND IN MY EXCITEMENT TO TELL HER EVERYTHING ABOUT MY ACQUAINTANCES IN BEIJING, I THINK I SORT OF BORED SIYUN TO DEATH WHILE WE WERE BOTH WAITING TO CHANGE OUR OPTIONS. :D

WE SPENT THREE HOURS SOLID IN THE OPTIONS CENTRE AND IN THOSE THREE HOURS I WAS BLABBERING NON-STOP ABOUT CRAP GUY, GAY GUY AND DA JIE. SIYUN WAS REALLY INTERESTED AT FIRST (OR AT LEAST SHE "SEEMED" INTERESTED) AND THIS SPURRED ME TO TELL HER MORE AND MORE ABOUT MY EXPERIENCES IN BEIJING.... BUT THEN I THINK TOWARDS THE END SHE GOT A BIT BORED.... AS SHE LAY BACK INTO THE SOFT CHAIR AND CLOSED HER EYES TO REST, EVEN AS I WAS STILL BLABBERING AWAY....

! SORRY, SIYUN !!!

ANYWAY, I HAD THIS LONG DISCUSSION (OK, MAYBE NOT REALLY lONg) WITH MEL C AND I WAS TELLING HER HOW BEST FRIENDS NEED NOT BE THOSE WHO HAVE KNOWN YOU FOR THE LONGEST TIME. AND I WAS TELLING HER HOW DEJECTED I FELT FROM THE REST OF THE PEOPLE IN CLASS BECAUSE APPARENTLY, EVERYONE IS HIT BY KOREAN FEVER AND EXCUSE ME, BUT I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO INTEREST IN WHATEVER KOREAN POP STARS THAT MY CLASSMATES FANCY..... SO WHENEVER THEY START TALKING ABOUT THEIR FAVOURITE STARS AND START DEBATING OVER WHOSE IDOL IS BETTER, IGNORANT AND UNENLIGHTENED SAM HAS NO IDEA WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT......

SO I JUST SIT THERE AND BLEND INTO THE BACKGROUND WHILE I REMININSCE ABOUT THE HAPPY DAYS I SPENT IN BEIJING.

YUP, EVEN THOUGH I HAVE BEEN BACK IN SINGAPORE FOR MORE THAN A WEEK ALREADY, I AM STILL SUFFERING FROM THE WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS.... ITS LIKE.... I'VE WAS EXPOSED TO CRAP GUY'S CRAPPINESS FOR ONE WHOLE WEEK AND THEN SUDDENLY I'M THROWN BACK INTO SANITY..... I CANNOT ADAPT SO FAST U NOE!

ANYWAY, SINCE ITS LATE AND SIYUN IS SHOWING NO SIGNS OF COMING ONLINE (WE MADE AN AGREEMENT TO HELP EACH OTHER OUT WITH OUR TESTIMONIALS U SEE)..... I'M GOING TO GO OFF NOW AND SLEEP, BECAUSE TOMORROW IS A LONG DAY! OPTIONS ARE STARTING!

*STOOPID SIYUN STOOD ME UP.... *

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

to infinity and beyond!

hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*

take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Dear All,

Ballet exam is finally over! I can't believe its finally over! All those gruelling ballet lessons that I had to go through, just for that one and a half hour showcase in front of the examiner.

I still can't believe that it's over! And just one week ago I was in Beijing worrying, "I'm not ready for all of this yet... "

And now its over! And well, obviously my Beijing trip's over as well! Haha.... The fact that the whole trip is over hasn't seemed to really dawn on me yet as I find myself still very attached to the city. You know, I can't remember a happier time than in those few days that I spent in Beijing. Ok, maybe some people think that I am overexaggerating, but it's really true! I had never ever laughed so much in a week in my entire life.

I spent everyday laughing and smiling, even though there were some times that were not so ... well.. happy, there would always be something that would make me laugh, no matter what.

So.... Let me give a chronological account of what's been happening to me this past month and a half... because i've been so busy I haven't been able to really blog and tell my friends (esp my D6 members) what's really been going on. I think if i don't really explain what's happening, they'd be soon wondering, where's Sam gone? She's like, pulling this disappearing act! I finally realised the importance of actually telling my friends what I'm doing, because the other day Siyun called me at about 11pm and when she found out that I was still at rehearsal, she was like, "How do you survive???" And from that day on she took a whole new perspective to me and why I'm always feeling so tired in class (heh heh)

#1 Dance Concert

Ok, i'm sure some of you (if not most of you) went to watch the RGS dance concert. It went... well and THANK GOODNESS FOR THAT! The modern ballet piece that I choreographed didn't go as well as I expected but it wasn't bad either.

I was actually quite stressed because when you're facing a whole bunch of sec 1s and 2s and they just won't listen to you, you feel like just wielding out a knife and slashing it at them. But towards the end, they FINALLY realised the importance of constant practice and they even took the initiative to organise rehearsals by themselves! Ok, intense practice just a week before the performance is probably too late but hey, as long as they've gotten their wake-up call right?

Besides, they'd have many many other dance pieces ahead of them and its a good thing they've learnt it NOW so that they can apply it in the FUTURE *habits of mind= applying past knowledge to new situations*

And although I was kinda sad because 3 (which is HALF) out of the 6 members of D6 couldn't be there... Carrot was physically not in S'pore, Cellie was probably out gallavanting with her man and Rhea was probably prepping for some BIG BIG (and it had BETTER BE IMPT) Bengali exam.....

But I know that Mel and her twinn will always be there to support me!

daw jer lei jee chee ngoh!

#2 The Human Expression Dance Theatre (aka the Beijing Thing)
Ok... not many people know about my beijing thing because why? I didn't tell you guys! So its actually not your fault that you didn't know... And I'm really sorry if i made anyone feel left out by not telling you about the Beijing (BJ) thing.

I auditioned for the BJ thing on the 30th June 2006... And the audition was so hard! I had no idea that it would be THAT difficult! It's not the pretty pretty kind of dance that everyone loves.... Its that kind of dance that not everyone can appreciate... And when Ms Silvia (the same person who choreographed the Peacock dance for the dance concert) taught us the two audition pieces, I was like thinking ," What in the world is this???"

I mean, before i went for the audition I already knew that it was going to be contemporary but I had no idea it was like, pure contemporary... The Macau thing that I did was MODERN BALLET, NOT CONTEMPORARY.... So..... technically speaking, its my first attempt at pure contemporary dance.... But then again, its not really pure pure because its got elements of classical ballet in it, so maybe it could be considered contemporary ballet? Or Neo-classical contemporary? Call it whatever you want, because my point is simply that I had never encountered anything like it before, EVER.

So... one week later when i got the call from Ms Silvia I was shocked! At first I didn't want to do it (and i went to the audition for fun) because the performance dates fell on the exam week (week 10) PLUS.... Rehearsals were at least 5 times a week, 3 weeks before the performance week.

Nope, you didn't read wrongly. That's 5 times a week, 3 weeks BEFORE EXAM WEEK. Yup. That's it.

I don't even know WHY I accepted her offer. Because I overestimated my capabilities and my time management skills? I don't know... All that I know is that I just said yes and was like "Bring it on".... I think.. though... maybe i wouldn't have been so eager to sign up if not for the fact that everything was paid for except subsistence... and even then there was a 3-figure salary for my participation in the festival.

And the thing is, I never really told my parents about the 5 times a week thing and I never really told them that it clashed straight on with my exams...

Haha... When i look back now, i wonder, "How did i ever do it? How did i manage my schoolwork, my rehearsals, my school exams AND my ballet exam?" Its a MIRACLE! a MOMENT OF GRACE... :D

I never knew that I could have done all this... And I certainly didn't do this all by myself. If my teachers hadn't been so kind as to reschedule the exams that I would be missing especially for me, I wouldn't have been able to go on this trip after all! And Ms Silvia! I'm so grateful to her because she really understands how much stress I am under and would always help me and coach me during rehearsals. Her assurance was really very gratefully received... She's like the big mother of the whole group.... *i miss her (sobs)*

I'm really sorry to all the friends who I had been "missing" this past month, because life for me had just been, school-ballet-rehearsal, school-ballet-rehearsal, everyday, for this whole month. There was a point in time I was so stressed I just wanted to give everything up. My exams were coming and I couldn't even find time to study... I had to resort to studying during those 15min breaks in rehearsals. And I even gave up the chance to watch a movie with Mel because I had a rehearsal... But Mel understands.. and its this kind of support that kept me going! So... THANKS EVERYONE!

uh-oh... i gotta go for class now! will continue in the next post about my experience in beijing! See ya!

---------------- to infinity and beyond

hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*

take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Hello everyone,

Ok.. its been like, 2 months since the International Youth Dance Festival passed but i still got some pictures to show all you guys..

I really apologise for being so... laid back with my blog but I have had a LOT of things to do.

Firstly there is the dance concert, then there are the EOYs (end of year exams) and then I also have rehearsals for The Human Expression (T.H.E. Dance Theatre) starting on the 5th August, 5 times a week At LEAST.

So... now that all my rehearsals and my exams are all over... i can finally take the time to blog properly.... Sigh.......

The 10th International Youth Dance Festival!

This is the picture that we took during the "semi-formal" dinner at the Macau Tower. I think that this picture was taken with the Bangladesh group, if I am not wrong. (apologies if i mix the countries up!

Ok, this next picture was taken at the table where i was sitting, and the 3 people in the foreground wearing their orange t-shirts are from Hong Kong! Yippee! So delighted to make their acquaintance!

This pretty girl in lime-green sitting next to me is Singapore Team's Translator, which is like a liaison between the organisers and us, bascially. Its a really good thing that there are a few (well actually, 2 people) who can speak cantonese in the team, because Melanie (our translator) speaks only a little english and not-so-hot chinese :D She was so relieved when we could speak her language! She was like, "wah, ho choi lei dey sek gong gong dong wah!"

This is an official festival poster, and because Macau is quite a small place, the publicity we got was like.... wow... The whole island was plastered with these posters. Little flags, banners, posters publicising the event was everywhere. we all felt like VIPs!

This is a picture that I took of the infamous tourist attraction in Macau, St Paulo's Ruins/Square. Its really amazing.. and it gives you the feeling of being in Europe or something. :D

till later!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* to infinity and beyond ~

hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*

aboutME.
amethyst1943
08 03
jc
dancer
shooter

myLOVES.
=)
dance
green
chinese
ducks!
the west side of my island

myWISHES.
golden leaf
strong constitution
pleasant disposition
do well for 'A's!
[still thinking]

goldenWORDS.
the greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return-