hey peeps, today was the 2.4km run. To tell the truth, i think im pretty proud of myself. AT least i know i had done my best. I feel guilty in a lot of ways too... I feel so guilty because i had left cheryl to run on her own. running alone is terrible. There is no one by your side to tell u to keep moving on, and no one there to give u a little encouraging nudge. I know how it is to run alone. I was startled when cheryl stopped at the second round. I thought she gave up. But she didn't. Because she was cheryl after all. The cheryl we all knew wasn't to give up so easily. I stopped at the start of the third round, and then frm then on i stopped at every single round i ran. That's why i say, it was not mel's and cell's fault that i didn't get an A. It was because of my weak willpower. But whenever i stopped, there were two things in my mind : Mel told us "don't stop no matter what". WHen i stopped, i felt that i had let her down in a way. But i didn't want to let her down, so i kept on running. I could've just stopped and walked the whole 2.4km, but it was because i remembered mel's words, that's why i kept on running. When i was running, i realised how many people there were shouting and calling my name. "Samantha Ho you better get your feet up and run!", "Sam u told me not to give up so i won't let u! Now run!" When i was running the last round, i told myself, "i can run!" SO i ran the whole way. I was looking for cell and mel, i was waiting for mel and cell to acknowledge me. But they weren't there. I was waiting. I really was. It was that moment of excitement and fulfillment that i was running for. I'm not angry or anything. But i just wanted to say:
one to Cheryl, for leaving you behind
two to the one, who's words i remembered
three to the people, who gave me strength
four to the world, whose motivation i needed.
sammo
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Saturday, April 24, 2004
Yo ppl, was just thinking abt a lot of stuff yesterday, got a bit too carried away in thoughts, it seems. I just can never seem to get out of my thoughts when i'm in them. They overwhelm me. Or maybe i just think too much. But one can never think too much can they? There are so many things to think of, maybe i got too carried away with them, but i know that i'll have to sort them out sooner or later. Anyway, was just thinking of mel's question: How do you mend a broken heart? Well, on the smart-aleck side, surgical thread and needle. On the hilarious side, scotch tape and superglue. But to me, i dunno what yall would call my side la, i think that a broken heart can never be mended. Or at least, even if it were to be mended, it would never think and feel in the same way it had before. SO that's why i say, a broken heart can never be mended. Many people don't share my POV, but can't really blame them. I mean you gotta respect other's opinions right? Some people say with the milk of human kindness and love, the heart will mend itself. True it will, but how many people actually forget the cause of their broken hearts? It will forever leave a scar, a permanent memory that it will never forget. Everyone has his/her heart broken at least once in their lives. But to mend it, oh no, i don't think anyone has ever truly mended a broken heart before. At least, not completely. sorry if this was too philosophical. Was being bored so i just said some stuff... Wahahaha
sammo
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Friday, April 23, 2004
Yo ppl... Just finished NAPFA PFT 5 stations and feeling quite bored. Told mel to come online but didn't. Stoopid mel. Cell smsed me asking "Why are u so sad?" To tell the truth, i swear i wasn't sad. I was just... hallucinating, dreaming, and i swear it was the rain that did it. There was sth abt the rain that made it lonely. WHen i looked out into the netball courts and the sound of the rain falling on the ground, i dunno why but they were empty and had a feel to loneliness about it. Don't get me wrong, i wasn't the one feeling lonely. The courts looked like it was at a perpetual standstill and it felt like time had stopped right there. The courts that were usually filled with the heavy todding of feet and the laughter of netball players were empty. Think about it. Suddenly i was just frozen into my own time. I dunno how to explain it, but i think mel saw me. Talk abt dejavu, when i walked into the rain i felt so familiar, yet so different. When i first walked by the netball courts in my pri sch i was thinking "I'm gonna be one someday." But now that i walk past the courts again i realised how time had flew by, and what have i become? There are so many things that i want to be, i want to do. FOr example, i want to be a gymnast, i wished i ahd never given it up. It was the most impt thing in my life when i was in pri 2-4 and when i look back, i remember how i used to be. And how i shattered the dream of being a gymnast myself. When i ran for my class event, i was so happy because i know i could run, and i loved it. I was a good runner then, with good stamina and training (thanks to gym) and now when i run, i can see what change had taken place in me. I had lost most of the things that i loved and i know i shouldn't regret. And honestly, i don't. I had so many things i want to learn, so many things i want to be. My greatest love is sports, but what a contrast becoz now im just some silly bimbotic girl who can't take stress and vigorous activities. Maybe you guys won't understand la, but i get these spells sometimes throughout the year, when im just stranded in my own thought. And nope, i wasn't sad. I was just reflecting on myself. CHecking to see what dreams i really have accomplished. Seems like none. To Mel and Cell, i really look up to the two of yall esp becoz yall are sth that i will nvr be able to be. To Cheryl, i admire your personality and honesty, becoz your tact is sth no one can take away frm u. To all the D6 and all those ppl out there who still have many dreams in mind to accomplish, don't wait, just do it. You wouldn't want to end up just... like me.
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
Yo yo ppl... You know today is DE day. The BIG day. Went to schl a bit de late... stoopid bus didn't stop for me. so i took another bus and well.... detoured. Im so smart. Sammo is always thinking of good ways out of things. :D Yes, anyway, went to school. Then at recess sent Cell down to buy me some food, while me and cheryl started to prepare the equipment that we needed. Cheryl's fingers are so... fat and long... SO difficult to find a ring that suits her. Anyway, i saw cell playing with her string thingies during philo and it turned out to be the rings that me and cheryl in exchange for two rubber balloon loop thingos. What a laugh we had! SO then we carried out the procedure at the top of the staircase and yeah.... exchanged rings and stuff liddat. CHeryl broke her ring, well, tore it apart, to be exact. Hers was a depressed blue and purple, while mine was... crazy pink and yellow. I dunno how those colours correspond with my character. EIther im just dumb or cell's colorblind. Cheryl forgot her LOLLIPOPS!!! *pout* SToopid cheryl. Was intending to have a few lollies but cheryl obviously has an extremely short term memory. In fact, i dun even noe whether she even stored it in her memory. Anyway, did yall hear abt the Nicoll Highway collapse??? I think that it was a lucky one because it happened during off peak hours. Imagine the number of casualties if it happened during the peak hrs.... Whoa.... Just be thankful it didn;t happen then... Nicoll highway won't be in use for a LONG LONG time... Oh well.... stoopid dad heard of it the time it happened... now he's boasting to be more efficient in current affairs and that he's more well-informed. WHATEVER, dad. I came to know abt it during dance! Ha! That proves my efficiency. Our instructress was like "Nicoll highway dao xia lai le!" after she finished talking on the phone. All of us were like.. WHAT???? Yeah... My efficiency was proved in that part too. Hehe... must protect my ego... very delicate...
sammo
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Sunday, April 18, 2004
AM at cheryl's house now. We started out trying to do some RS thingy, sot hat we could submit the proposal on time ya noe. But mel totally forgot about the meeting and came a whole hour late. We spent the time talking to Cheryl's mom and asked her on Haw PAr Villa. Sure, we wandered off topic but we did get something done. We then set out to interview some of the neighbours on their comments on HAw Par Villa and well, the thing la. Then mel was the scribe (who finally came, btw) and took down notes. We got stuff like, try to make it appeal to the younger generation and stuff liddat. Surprised that there were hardly any spelling errors in mel's script. ANyway, then we came back and then we started to do our RS project. Then we were given pepsi and jacob biscuits and frutips to work with. Then we got a simple mixture by diluting the biscuits in the pepsi with the sugar from the frutips. Heh... then we started to get down to business. We tried to use the com to access inet and well, see what the proposal format was like. Budden inet was down and what not. Then mel and cheryl are now playing with the stoopid piano. BTW, cheryl's playing is nicer. Mel's one is still a bit the bang la... Wahahaha... mel is sitting next to me now and saying Hai-ya. The woes of the pianists. Mel and Cheryl are also comparing finger capacity. Mel's ones are short and stubby!! Wahahaha... Im so evil... Mel's sobbing liao.. SHall not elaborate... The Elemental concert was nice... SO interesting.. Cellie was ogling at the bodies of the gymnasts and sinking into her own fantasy, waking up every now and then with an occasional nudge from sammo. Must keep the dog in hand you know, lest it go wild. Heheh... shall end here... Getting bored liao.
WIth hugs and kisses,
sammo
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Thursday, April 15, 2004
Well... Here's to my dilemma. Im gonna tell all of yall about my dilemma and how i felt and everything. SO its like a hot issue to all my issues. ANyway... Here goes..
Firstly, one day cheryl said that we were gonna renew our vows la.. So then at that thouht i took a look around and i saw cheryl and cell together. And i never looked at them the way i did that day. I realised that, hey, something's not right.. I don't feel comfortable with Cellie (as intimates) when i can see cheryl, not becoz of jealousy, but because... I dunno... Maybe i crush carrot, that's all. So that's the sort of dilemma. ANd anyway, if i choose cellie, it'd be just reverting to the same old sch days.. SHld make mel get involved too. Cna have affair. See right, this is the system. Cellie got two spouses. Then each of the spouses can take one more spouse. I can take melly-mo. WHoo Hoo... sorry.. getting carried away.. ANyway, i got a blister on my toe from dance... SToopid dance.. Audition for Sleeping BEauty on sat.. Can't wait!... So nervous....
Wish me luck! No... wait.. its bad luck to wish someone good luck.. so wish me... BREAK A LEG!
sammo
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
I went to change the size of my pointe shoe and i am so lucky! I got the last pair of 3 1/2s in the whole shore! MUahahaha.. There was another girl who was trying on many shoes but i had already bought them when she found out that she was my size too! Meano sammo. I also sewed the ribbons onto my new ballet slippers. They look so new and peachy... Don't get me wrong, i wasn;t buying the new balelt slips to wear to the audition. NO. My old pair had the soles peeling off and it was totally dead. I had no support in them and my feet could feel the impact and pressure on the floor just by standing. Talk about doing jumps in dead shoes. Crikey. Anyway, supposed to renew wedding vows... Next Tues... Stoopid Zak has BBall... I have dance too... But it doesn't really start until 4... But Makky will be angry.. Better not offend her... Got so many projects now.. Got lit, philo, eng. SO irritating. I wonder if Melly-Mo will ever oblige Cell to a REWARD. Maybe not... Budden, being related and all... New timetable is very freaky. Got hist tm! Ahhhhh.... haven't done my 'thing' yet. Oh no! Have to discuss with someone... hehe... Dun really like hist... HT failed me for test. SToopid HT. i have to get my mortal a prezzie! Her b-day is on the 3rd may... Oh, talking abt mortals, i think carrot's mortal, min jia, is on the verge of psychological breakdown. Honestly, i think she's the first one to suffer from 'angelic' illness. I think carrot had better console her by telling her carrot's bad points, say... maths *hint hint*, not to put yourself down, but to... u noe... get her back on her feet. Tell her abt goal setting and the S.M.A.R.T thing. She'll love the lecture, i'd bet! My mortal hasn't written. SToopid. She'd better write or her present will be found in the recycling bin. Alright.. Guess what?? I'm going for summer school!!! The CSTD summer sch frm 31 May to 5 june. I'll be dancing everyday from 11-4.30 or sth liddat. With ballet, jazz and modern dances, I'll totally love it lol! I went in pri 6 but didn't go last yr.. dunno why... ah... sars ah.... Im going again!! The people there are frm all over singapore, dancers frm the whole country come together like a summer camp thing. ANd we're supposed to learn a piece of choreography to stage in a performance in just 5 days!!! Imagine that! We have 5 days to learn the dance and polish it. and on the 6th day its SHOW time. COol huh... Then did i mention dance concert in july? Its called Expressione, and its combined with guitar. I'm doing ballet and indian techno (???) for it. The indian dance is to techno music and its very fun to do... SHould all go to watch it but if have to wear sari can see all the fats bulging. *pout* am a fatso.. waist is 27.. sigh... shall have to go running again on thurs, MOM'S orders. Hope can pon... Got netball match that day can support one? Then can pon.. Help me, fellow dementers!!! Help the Er-jie!!! With that i leave you hugs and kisses and oodles of dementedness.
sammo
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Friday, April 09, 2004
Well, here i am again.. Blogging due to boredom sitting in front of the com with no sites to go to... Anyway, I just found out that my pointes were the wrong size. Bummer. I shoudl ahev got a half size smaller.. I should go back to the shop to complain. They are broken it quite a lot liao, after a lot of ppl tried them on on Wed to check for size. If its broken in how to return??? Haiz.... So troublesome. Actually, i tried Ms Cheah's shoes and they were so comfortable you know. They were darned and the shank was sliced and stuf liddat to make the shoe completely comfortable... But actually i prefer not slicing the shank because i don't like the thing to poke into my arch. Ms Cheah says that i'm one of those who have an INSTEP. Yae!! I think now im wearing a C-width... D has proven to be too.. wide... Im constantly trying to improve my arch.. But some lucky ppl like shawna are blessed with it... SIlly pokkies.... ANyway cheerleading didn't work out.. We were kind of disqualified you now.. So Tarbet came in Foirth overall.. Not a surprise, since we came in fourth last yr also.. Hadley got the Champion house. Talk about surprises.. No one really expected them to win.. Maybe its because of the numberous athletes they have on the list.. Waiting to run. And mind you, they are good stuff... I feel like running all of a sudden... Maybe i should quit cheerleading. I train so hard for it but i don't feel it as an impt aspect of my RGS sch life... Neither is dance club.. Sad to say... Haha... Oh well.. gtg now.. cya guys!
sammo
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Sunday, April 04, 2004
Hey people, you observant people might have observed that i have changed my blog skin. It is certainly a great contrast to what i have had before, being white and all. Anyway, the song that's playing now is "Come What May" from Moulin Rouge, since i couldn't find the other one, had to use this song la. Yes.. Other updates:
I got my first pair of pointes! They're Bloch Signature Performance and I think i like them. Despite the fact that they're short and fat... Compliments my wide feet. Shall have a picture to show yall:
No, that is not me. I do not have such gorgeous feet. Shall try to train my feet so that they look something liddat yar? But that's only a distant dream.. which i'll only reach in my sleep.
What else do i have to report??? Hmm... Shall tell you guys the experience i had when i went to the shoe shop. I sat down on this stool with my friend and we waited to get fitted by this guy la. Anyway, my friend got fitted first and this guy he looked at her foot and mumured something to himself, them went flying to the cupboards and started rummaging through them. Me and my friend watched in amazement and he pulled out pointe shoes of different sizes and brands, leaving behind him a mountain of pointes. SO anyway, he found this shoe, and he gave it to my friend and she tried it on. She felt quite awkward at the rigidity of the new pointe, but eventually smiled and then the guy wrapped it up and left it on the counter. Next, me. He did the same thing to me, and he grabbed out a shoe that i would have never even wanted to wear. I had in mind another kind of shoe, but he persisted that he knew what was best for me. I mean, he's the experienced one right?? So i just got fitted and i got my size, and then me and my friend paid for our pointes. Now, i feel like my pointes are the best in the world! Mainly because few people wear it, and they have a catchy name to it : Signature, performance. Like, a pop star gives a SIGNATURE, after a PERFORMANCE??? Have been told by Ms Cheah (the ballet teacher) to bring them on Weds to ballet class to show her, so she can well... Check, i guess... Oh yes, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHAWNA!! I know it was yesterday but better late than never right??
sammo
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
aboutME.
amethyst1943
08 03
jc
dancer
shooter
myLOVES.
=)
dance
green
chinese
ducks!
the west side of my island
myWISHES.
golden leaf
strong constitution
pleasant disposition
do well for 'A's!
[still thinking]
goldenWORDS.
the greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return-
